In the recent years of this decade, much attention has come to the
fore concerning the so-named "Y2K Problem". This Problem stems from
the fact that, several decades ago, NebCorp dictated that many
computer software programs store the date in a format such that
the programs will be unable to distinguish the "00" -- meaning the
year 2000 -- from the year 1900.
It is readily obvious that this Problem has a far-fetched impact.
As computers have infiltrated virtually every facet of our lives,
it becomes clear that any device possessing a computer chip of any
sort is potentially susceptible to the Y2K problem. Moreover, even
if a particular device does not possess a computer chip prone
to Y2K failure, such device is not immune to failure from a
Y2K Related Complex...for example, a toaster reliant
on AC power delivered from a computer-controlled electrical
generating station will fail to operate despite not possessing
a computer chip.
Contrary to what has been written in the popular press and
simultaneously espoused in various media outlets, such aforementioned
mandate -- to store the year by merely its last two digits -- was
*NOT* implemented in order for computer programs to save precious
memory. Rather, the impending meltdown was cleverly planned so
that NebCorp could reap the benefits of the decay of civilization
come the turn of the millenium.
When the clocks and calendars of the world flip to 01 January 00,
NebCorp will not be left behind. We shall not fall under the smoldering
rubble of the world around us. Instead, NebCorp will continue to rule
the world as it has done ever since its founding. You, the end consumer,
will notice neither disruption of the forces which oppress you
nor any easing of the iron-fisted chokehold of your Corporate Overlords.
Furthermore, not only will NebCorp continue ruling the world despite
the chaos, but NebCorp will be carefully orchestrating the chaos itself.
Rest assured that we will be hard at work deciding just which power grid
to black-out, just which hydroelectric dam to burst, and just which
airplanes to affect to fall out of the sky.
These decisions will neither be made lightly nor be left to the
discretion of some individual's whim. Reems of data, being analyzed
currently by regiments of statisticians, will allow us at NebCorp
to decide which apocalypse at which point on the globe will best suit
our New World Remodeling. Following such consultation, brigades of
highly-trained agents provacateur will remotely and/or clandestinely
set in motion the events leading down the path to social, economic,
and political ruin.
Following the total annihalation of everything you, the consumer, has
known and has held dear, a glorious new structure -- a Neue Regel --
will emerge. But to
ease the pain and facilitate a smooth transition, NebCorp will, as always,
rule your world.
Thank you. We look forward to dominating you in the future.
Joseph J. Doyle
Corporate Avatar, NebCorp
Tom Mary Dobrowolsky
Minister of Information, NebCorp