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Nowinski, Anne
Delm, Anatoly

From: Anne Nowinski
Subject: Bruises
Date: 18 Nov 1998 15:23:54 GMT

 

 

Ok, it has happened again. I have woken up to discover that someone has beaten the crap out of me sometime in my sleep. I interrogated the rabbit and he just looked at me with big brown eyes and twitched his nose. I told him it would be easier if he just cooperated and handed over whoever put him up to this but them he nudged my hand and wanted to be petted. Damn spy outmanuevered me.

Then I thought, "who would have the most to gain by beating me up?" Rene would have the honor of being editor... all by herself. I quickly dismissed that as Rene is not masochistic or dumb (well......although she is dating dave...hmm)

My family came to mind next. They have long had the urge to beat me. However, that was quickly dismissed because they all go to sleep early. Besides they can wait until Thanksgiving to beat me. They're in no hurry.

Naturally my thoughts turned to the baton wielding goons of Joe's New World Order but because I have been so thoroughly indoctrinated into their group, I am sure it could not have been them and if it was them, I am sure I deserved to be beaten. In fact, I should have been beaten more but only through the mercy and divine power of NebCorp was I spared.

Yes, that must be it.

anne

 

 

 
Date: Sat, 8 May 1999 11:28:02 -0500 (CDT)
From: Anatoly Delm
To: NebCorp
Subject: Re: An alternative to Nebcorp?

Hon. Rev. Doyle,

Thank you for taking the time out of your world-domination-scheming schedule to respond to the concerns of this Cog. It is nice to know that, in the age of world leaders who are so removed from The People, those in the leadership of NebCorp still care about the little guy. Please see my concerns below. Rest assured that I am right now, and will continue to be, a loyal NebCorp customer.

> inspection of alternatives, always come back to NebCorp. Eviloverlord.com
> may talk a good talk; no doubt of that. But what is their history?
> Where are the records of their deeds? And most importantly, what do they
> offer you, the consumer? As far as I can tell, they in fact offer
> absolutely no services, in drastic contrast to NebCorp (see

This is true; however, you will note that while Eviloverlord.com does not yet publish its services, it *does* publish its methods. (See http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html) Thus it follows the Free Domination model, which has been described in various media as being superior to the Proprietary Subservience methods used by NebCorp. Since I am aware that NebCorp controls these very media, I must admit that I am having trouble understanding why the corporation would permit such inaccuracies to find their way into the minds of the populace, causing unnecessary distress and confusion.

> http://www.nebcorp.com/services.html for more details). I fail to see
> that eviloverlord.com have even attempted in the most elementary way to
> piss off the French, something that we have found most Americans (and
> indeed everyone besides the French) desire from their Masters and Rulers

This is indeed true, and is one of the many value-added services that has caused me to stay with NebCorp throughout. I have also found that, whenever I consider alternatives to NebCorp, I develop an extremely sharp pain in my ankles and elbows, and behind my right eye; this pain goes away very quickly as I begin to consider the positives of remaining a loyal NebCorp customer. I presume that this pain relief is yet another way that NebCorp rewards me and other satisfied customers for our loyalty; I cannot thank you enough. The handy instructions on your web site pertaining to the putting on of pantyhose are another excellent bonus.

Sincerely,
Anatoly J. Delm
NebCog #050177070523MIN23910

 


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