Abstract

The outcome of the United States Presidential Election of the year 2000 was determined by a difference of several hundred votes in one state. Such a situation unduly concentrated voters' perceived sense of power into a small and insignificant region of the nation. The tested Electoral system has failed to promote a uniform sense of futility throughout the nation's electorate. Thus a new metric has been developed which will more accurately settle which candidate should rightfully rise to the position of President of the United States of America as a result of the November 2000 election.

A measurement of Presidential Value shall be taken of each candidate's erect penis. As it is easier to obtain measurements of circumference rather than radius, all volumetric formulae have been re-written in terms of circumference. Secondly, an accurate measurement shall be taken of each candidate's height. We are interested in proportional penis size rather than absolute penis size.

A simple method has been devised in which we cleave the penis into two geometric sections -- a cone (representing the head) and a cylinder (representing the shaft) -- and calculate the volume of each piece. Adding the two measurements yields an adequate approximation of the volume of the entire unit.

A volumetric measurement has been chosen as the standard for penis size rather than a simple measurement of length. This method is more accurate in that it takes into account penile width, which directly affects pleasureability, and thus the Presidency. Finally, the volume is divided by the candidate's height, for we are interested in determining proportional size. Doing so eliminates unfair advantages due to physical size.

The formula thus follows:

                  PV = Presidential Value = Penile Volume

                  Ch = circumference of head                  

                  hh = length of head

                  Cs = circumference of shaft                  

                  hs = length of shaft

                  ht = height of candidate.

                  

Acknowledgements

The authors would like to thank the participants of IRC CogNet channel #uiuc for discussion leading to the research and developement culminating in this paper.